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Sunday, October 26, 2008

Jennifer Hudson + the Art of Communication?

Two things on my mind today: 1) Jennifer Hudson and her family; and the other 2) communication. My heart truly goes out to Jennifer and her family. The tragedy is simply unbelievable and cruel. I pray and stand in affirmation with so many across the nation and globe that God gives her the strength to face all of these. I also pray her nephew returns home safely.
The law presumes one to be innocent until proven guilty. As such, I will wait till the facts unfold to see whether indeed William Balfour, brother in law to Jennifer [Julia, Jennifer's sister's husband is guilty]. However, the point I want to underscore is that we have to be extremely careful who we pick as spouses. It is NOT enough to be in love or think you are marrying only that person. What they do and how they interact with you affects you and your family. Plus, in certain instances, they can be dangerous and harm your family. Protect your family fiercely and be careful.

On the topic of communication, where do I begin? I won't be suprised if there was a serious breakdown in communication with Julia and William Balfour. "Communication," it seems so easy and yet it is an art form that must be studied daily, refined and committments and efforts made to understand this art form. This week, for example, I have been thinking a lot about about communication. I wonder how two people can care deeply about each other yet lack the ability to communicate those feelings in actions and words so that there is a serious breakdown in the relationship.

Ladies, where do we typically go wrong? When we meet that potential man we deem "the one," how are we communicating? Do we make clear that we are dating with the intention to get married? Do we explain and make clear we expect exclusivity? Do we explain the hangups, the damages, health issues, family drama or what have you so they know right away or is that something we should wait on? Do we make clear the importance of sex in our relationship? For example, it is or is not something that is casual so he understands? Do we talk about our likes, dislikes? When we feel like we give way too much and all the men in our lives do is receive, receive and receive are we clearly articulating we don't like it and taking actions to end such imbalanced relationship, or do we just keep it in?

Plus, how many hands do we have in the pot stirring our stews? Especially, where there is a communication issue, it helps to keep it between you and the person you deal with and some truly trustworthy extremely close and wise friends that get you, and can give you an objective look at how to better manage and resolve disputes. Ultimately, effective communication involves, among other things, being able to be clear and spell out the details about what you are about, and making sure you are on the same page with your significant other even before you jump into it. Otherwise, it comes back to hunt you and when all is said and done, all you both have is really hurt feelings. This past week was a week of lessons in "communication" for myself and some of my girlfriends going through it. I pray the upcoming week brings better clarity and breakthroughs in communication. I also truly pray for some strength for the Hudson family. A truly tragic case. May the souls of Jennifer's mother and brother rest in peace.

Remain Blessed,
Uduak

3 comments:

Lamide said...

I really think now is the not time to berate Julia for her choice of partner. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING right now in the midst of this unfathomable tragedy is finding the son and getting closure. May we all keep them in our prayers. All the other sites are also on this Wiliam issue so dont join d bandwagon abeg my sister. We dont know what the issue was or is so lets not start trying to beacuse only the parties involved KNOW. This is so Tragic these people need our prayers SERIOUSLY

Ladybrille said...

The findings today show that the nephew was found dead in a vehicle. This is a human tragedy and it is IRRELEVANT to us that other sites are writing about this. To lose your mother, sister and nephew in a weekend??? That is something to talk about, "not joining the bandwagon" but a human tragedy that should move us and have us re-evaluate our social and moral values.

Also, no one is "berating" Julia for her choice of partner. We are emphasizing that as Ladies we should be careful with not just loving the one but also thinking about out families in the process of loving the one. Mr. Balfour had served 7years in prison for attempted murder. He had also threatened,from what facts are unfolding, to kill Julia's family and son should Julia leave him. He had a rap sheet. In spite of that, we made clear in our writings that we would wait till the facts unfold to call him guilty.

Anonymous said...

You are so judgmental.

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