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Thursday, February 7, 2008

New York Fashion Week, Fashion Police Fall '08

If you are a true Ladybrille fan, you know about Ladybrille Fashion Police [LFP] and Ladybrille Fashion Penal Code [LFPC]. For Fall 2008, LFP has been quite busy arresting fashion offenders, including celebrity designers and shipping them off to our Style Court for arraignment and prosecution. Overall, there were some delicious designs off the Fall' 08 collections but there were some that made us scream LFP! Here we go:

LFPC section 701-"Trying to Resurrect the Hit me Baby One More Time Truly Dead Trend" Betsey, Betsey, Betsey! We LOVE you, cartwheels and all. But, what's with trying to resurrect the truly dead Brittany Spears"hit me baby one more time trend" in a rather unsexy way, might we add. The knot on this blouse is reported to have caused pains in the pectoralis major and minor [chest muscles] + pneumonia for the few women who thought it a trend and wore it during Fall'08 in New York! LFPC section 702: "Failure to Hire a Stylist." Thakoon, mix n match of this undescribable sort is NOT trendy. Do not suggest, encourage or aid this fashion faux pas, at all, at all! Hire a stylist. You can afford one.
LFPC 241: "Assault on Men" Rodarte put men in great fear of being assaulted this Fall '08 when they encouraged and dressed women in torn fish nets and shredded fabrics creating the effects of look alike draculan gothic ostriches.

LFPC 502: "If the Dress Don't Fit, U must Acquit": Fashion Prosecutor: "Ladies and gentlemen, members of the jury, take a good look at the dress on this model. When you come back from your deliberations your verdict must be GUILTY for the designer defendant Philosophy. Why? Because if the dress don't fit, you must acquit the Super Skinny Model. OSHI!


LFPC 415: "Disturbing the Peace with Excess Furs." On February 6th,2008, fashion defendant Monique Lhulier did willfully and maliciously disturb the peace when she sent a furry shaggy like skirt down the runway. It provoked an immediate reaction of shock and fear among fashionistas as they bolted in fear for the door, afraid their booties would look less bootilicious.
LFPC 417: "Too Much Crinkling for a Jacket": With all the talk about alleged copyright infringement by Designer Mathew Williamson of Ethiopians, AFRICANS for that matter,Williamson got real pissed off! So, he took it out on the poor jacket. Mathew, Mathew, honey, sweetheart, listen to me. Take a deep breath. Everything will be okay. Don't mind those Africans.
LFPC 602: "Failure to Give Notice Before Going off the Deep End." Said fashion defendant, Designer Marc Jacobs failed to give notice to unsuspecting fashionistas who thought they were there to watch a real show. Chaos took over as fashionistas jumped over each other to get to the exit door causing some to trample on the only security guard present. In fact, we add a civil suit for negligence. We also add criminal assault and battery charges.

LFPC 706: " Making Straight Crotches Unfashionable." Marc, when did straightening the crotch of your trousers become unfashionable? What happens to folks like me who, depending on the season i.e. PMS lol! have our thighs touch? It's already hard to get pants to fit comfortably. Now, you think its funny to screw with the crotch of one of our leg pants! Marc, get it 2geda. Stop going off the deep end!
LFPC 300: "Who Let the Highwaisted Cow Prints on the Runway": We hope this trend does not catch on. Everything else is parfait but the highwaisted cow print loose fitting pants? Karen Walker, her crotch is not that high.

LFPC "Abuse of the Russian Cossack Look"-Dennis Basso is charged with conspiracy to set this gorgeous model and most women up for battery and assault with this Russian Cossack look? You don't see it? It is alleged that women with the Russian Cossack arms have boxed out people attempting to sit in the chairs in the theater. It is also alleged further batteries and assaults have been present on the crowded streets of New York; as unsuspecting pedestrians are banged in their face, stomach and upper body when they try to get past these women. Mr. Basso, by the way, her are arms that cold?
LFPC "Violation of the Shaggy Fur Rule": Dennis! This is becoming a pattern. In just a very short while, you have accumulated another charge?! Yes, shaggy furs have been seen across NY runways this fall. The rule with Shaggy furs, "less is more." You failed to follow this basic rule. what were you thinking turning this trend into a dress. ARRGH!!! Mr. Dennis Basso, you are definitely under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in Ladybrille Style Court. If you cannot afford a fashion LAWYA, one will be provided to you!

LFPC 597.6: "Alteration of a Wild Animal on a Human Head." Wow, don't forget to turn on the headlights so we can see the deers coming. Shoot! Never mind. We'll just take a deer's head, paint it white and mount it on the head of our model. That way, the deer will see us coming. Benjamin Cho: [Beavis and Butthead type laughter] Yeah! yeah menh, that will be really cool , very avant garde, very artistic. Fashion Prosecutor: Members of the jury, I submit to you that this is demeaning, reckless and wanton! [Getting passionate] Ask yourselves, "is this really, truly, truly artistic?" Is this wearable art? We know you will side with us and come back with a GUILTY verdict on that [pointing to Mr. Cho sitting at the defense table and getting angry] DEFENDANT!
LFPC 800, "Creating confusion & Facilitating unnecessary arguments" Fashionista 1: Do you like my Behnaz Sarapour dress? Fashionista 2: Yes your skirt with the cascading ruffles is so CUTE! Fashionista 1: No it's a dress. Fashionista 2: Looks like a skirt to me. Fashionista 1: I said it's a dress dammit! A DRESS, DRESS. You know what, FORGET it! Sorry I even asked. Fashionista 2: [In a tiny itsy bitsy fearful voice] But it looks like a skirt. Sawwy for being honest.

3 comments:

Yetty said...

hahahahah that was too much fun lol!

O! said...

LOL, too funny but yet so true!.....some designers should get arrested for abusing fashion.

DAV!D said...

lol, I ain't mad at Rodarte's look though. At least he had an opinion and it showed. The rest were probably just overdosing on the whimsical tea!

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